I
get frustrated at times because it seems like whenever I start getting ahead a
little financially, BAM!, something happens. Get a little money from my tax
return? Oh, that loud noise was the washing machine refusing to wash any more
clothes! Get a little reward at work for doing a good job? The mailman just
delivered the updated quarterly real estate tax that went up by – look at that
– the same amount as my reward! How about a raise at work? Oops, not even
enough to keep up with inflation. It sometimes feels like the more money I get,
the more bills I get without even buying anything. Maybe I should stop trying
to get ahead.
This
is an area I give my parents a ton of credit. It’s not like we had a lot of
money when I was growing up, but they always seemed to figure out a way.
Sometimes they didn’t pay a bill, or we had to get by for a couple of weeks on
powdered milk (Warning: not for the faint of heart). If I ripped my jeans
playing street hockey or football, I didn’t get a new pair. No, Mom put a patch
on them or sewed up the tear and I was good to go. As Dad used to say, “As long
as we have a roof over our heads, food on the table, and clothes on our back
we’re OK.” It’s that simple.
Don’t
get me wrong, there were times I knew we weren’t very well off, but for the
most part I didn’t think about it much. That was mostly because my parents were
so positive that everything would be OK. I also think a large part of it was
that they didn’t even look to the things they couldn’t have. They didn’t think
about getting a brand new car like some of the neighbors did every two or three
years. A dependable used car in good shape that ran well was enough for them.
They didn’t think about going out and buying the latest model television. Until
the one we had was unwatchable or died, we didn’t get a new one. Taking a trip
to Disney was out of the question. If we drove to my Aunt and Uncle’s house in
New Hampshire, that was a vacation!
Looking
back through somewhat fading eyes and with less than 20/20 vision, I think we
were pretty happy as kids. We played together, we did stuff with friends in the
neighborhood and we made do. Though a few of my friends seemed to have a lot of
money, there were a lot of families in the same place as mine. We had a house
to live in, rented or owned, we had three good meals a day (and a few snacks
thrown in to boot), and we always had clothes to wear, even if they weren’t the
newest and greatest fashion. I don’t think any of us really cared.
So
why, forty years later, does it bother me that I’m not getting ahead? I think
it may be that there are things that are almost within reach, that they’re just
beyond my fingertips but I can see them. When you can’t even imagine buying a
new car financially even if you may need one, it doesn’t bother you as much as
when you have almost enough saved to do it. It seems like every commercial on
TV is for cars when you’re getting tired of the one you have but can’t afford a
newer one. It’s like the car industry is taunting you, daring you to buy a new
one with their nobody-is-turned-down credit.
Thankfully,
I can break the spell of the so called American Dream by just looking back over
my life. Mom and Dad never lived the high life, never really got ahead
financially, but they were happy. As a kid, I was happy with the little I had
because I had something way more valuable – a family that loved each other. I
don’t need more stuff or new stuff, I just need to be more grateful.
It
really is that simple.
