Prom Disasters

As my son hurtles to the end of his high school career, barely motivated to get out of bed to go to school, I can’t help but think back to my senior year of high school. Like him, I really had nothing to go to school for. I didn’t need to pass any classes the second half of the year and I could still graduate. Passing wasn’t an issue, as I had taken fluff classes all year. I took a class called Tales of Mystery and Intrigue, where we read books, like Serpico. I took a class called Comedy and Satire, where we talked about things like The Three Stooges. I had no Math class, no Science class, and no French class. My senior year was pretty much a waste of time.

He’s also coming up to Prom season, and because he’s dating a girl a year younger, he’ll be going to the Junior Prom and the Senior Prom. Let’s be real, the girls think about it all the time and the guys for the most part couldn’t care less. At least that’s how it was when I was in high school. Maybe I’m just bitter after all these years, because both my Junior and Senior Proms were horrible. To say things didn’t go well would be an understatement.

The girl I was dating Junior year couldn’t wait for the prom. It was all she talked about for weeks. On the evening of the prom, we met up with another couple (her best friend and a guy that I had played soccer with, whom I’ll call Mike), took some pictures and then hung out with some other people for a while. We had one or two drinks with alcohol and Mike purposely made all the drinks kind of weak because none of us were big drinkers, especially the girls. Heck, I don’t think I was even slightly buzzed after two of them. We went to the Prom and after a short time my date went to the bathroom – and didn’t come back for over an hour. Apparently, she was getting sick…from the alcohol. I can’t even tell you how many dirty looks I got that night from outraged females, all suspecting that I had got her drunk for nefarious purposes. Disaster #1 in my Prom experience.

Senior year was no better. I had a girlfriend whom I liked very much and things seemed to be going pretty well. I honestly don’t even remember exactly what happened, but I think we had had an argument one night, and the next day a friend of hers overheard a comment I made, took it out of context and told her I didn’t want to go to the Prom with her. Me, being the dim-witted clod I was, didn’t realize anything was up until a day or two later when I talked to her and found out about what had happened. To make matters worse, she was going to go to the Prom with her old boyfriend because she thought I didn’t want to go with her. Disaster #2 in my Prom experience.

Feeling like I was going to be one of the few not going, I found out that a girl I had been friends with since Elementary School wasn’t going to the Prom either, so we ended up going together. We had been good friends, but not romantic, over the years so I figured we’d have a good time. Boy was I wrong. About ten minutes after we got there, she totally blew me off and left me to myself. I was a third wheel for most of the night, hanging out with people here and there until they went to dance …or whatever. On top of that, I had to see my now ex-girlfriend looking very pretty at the Prom with another guy (who, by the way, wanted to kick my butt). Disaster #3 in my Prom experience.

So as my son finishes up his last couple of weeks of high school, I hope he has a much better Prom experience than I did. Then again, it couldn’t be much worse.