A Box of Nothing

As I went past the kitchenette area where I work, I noticed a box on one of the tables, the kind of box that looks like it holds some kind of treat. It could be cookies, or cake, it doesn’t really matter at 2:00 in the afternoon when something sweet would hit the spot. I put on the brakes and made a quick left into the kitchenette to get something before it was all gone. Yes, it was a bakery box!

I took one last look around to make sure no one was watching, like I was doing something wrong (it must be some kind of learned response from my younger years), opened the box, and…it was empty. Empty! Unless you count a few measly crumbs in the corners of the box, it was empty. What a letdown. I thought I was going to get at least a little sugar energy to help me through the afternoon, even if it was just half a cookie or pastry, or even a sliver of a cake or a pie. I felt like the box was taunting me, laughing at me as I walked away.

Why do people leave an empty treat box sitting on the kitchenette table like that? It’s such a tease and such a disappointment. One minute your imagining yourself eating a piece of chocolate cake, or munching a chocolate chip cookie, or being lucky enough to find even a quarter of a cinnamon bun, and the next you get air. A handful of nothing is what you end up with. I guess if you’re desperate, you eat the crumbs, but I wasn’t. Truth be told, I have too much pride to do that anyway.

I had lots of experience with finding something empty growing up in a big family. I cannot even tell you how many times I came into the house to get a cold drink of water, opened the freezer, and found one ice cube in the multiple trays. I’d take the one ice cube left in the top tray, and go to get another out of the next tray, only to find it empty. Someone actually left an empty ice cube tray in the freezer! If I complained to Mom or Dad about it, they told me it was wrong for someone to do that, but could I fill up both trays so the next guy didn’t get the same problem.

For some reason, my parents insisted on buying the ice cream that has vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry in the same package. None of us really liked strawberry, so when you went to get some cold, refreshing goodness in the summer, the vanilla and chocolate were totally gone, like they were never even there. I know, you’re thinking that the container wasn’t empty, that there was still some ice cream left, however, as far as we were concerned it was empty. None of us kids were going to eat the strawberry ice cream.

Mom also liked to get us the variety pack of cereal with the small boxes, which was great for the first week and maybe the second week. After that the only cereal left was Raisin Bran. I don’t know any kid that would take Raisin Bran over Frosted Flakes, or Sugar Pops, or any other sugar-laden cereal. The Raisin Bran would sit in the cabinet getting stale, unless one of us was desperate enough to take it and pick out all the raisins, throw a couple of spoonsful of sugar on it, maybe some sliced banana, pour in some milk, and only then eat it. That’s how you start your day with a good breakfast!

I could go on. There were 99.99% empty potato chip bags; containers of milk, Zarex, or soda with, at most, a mouthful of liquid left; toilet paper rolls with one square left on them and paper towel rolls with no sheets left on them; boxes of holiday chocolates with the only leftovers the kind that old ladies like (my apologies to all the Grandmothers out there). Letdowns one and all.

Over time, though, these letdowns have faded into the background because over time I’ve learned what is more important, that being family. Tasty treats, ice cream, ice cubes, even toilet paper, won’t always be there, but I know my family will.

Snack Time

Another post in a series on Famous Family Sayings

My son brings back memories of when I was a teen when I see him eating a meal and an hour later being hungry again. There were times I felt like a bottomless pit when it came to food. I just couldn’t get enough. When you’re young, not only can you do extra meals, it’s almost required.

It wasn’t that we weren’t fed at my house when I was growing up. Somehow we always had plenty of food, at least as far as I can remember. It might not have been exactly what we wanted, but we never went without food on the table. In between meals, we had to ask Mom if we could have something to eat, and when we did the answer we got was usually the same: “You can have a piece of fruit, a piece of bread with butter, some saltines, or a glass of milk.” Not that there’s anything wrong with any of those choices, but I always hoping Mom would say something like, “You can have a handful of cookies, some brownies, a big piece of cake, or a big bowl of ice cream.” That never happened.

We had cookies or brownies for a snack after school sometimes, and we did have ice cream or cake for dessert after dinner sometimes, but those weren’t things we were allowed to have in that time between the after school snack and dinner, or on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. No, during those times when I was a growing boy and my stomach would rumble a half hour after eating, I could have “a piece of fruit, a piece of bread with butter, some saltines, or a glass of milk.” My older brothers also taught me to sprinkle some sugar on the bread and butter to liven it up a bit, and though the thought of eating that now gives me the shivers, it was great back then. I can imagine what nutritionists today would say about that – butter AND sugar together on a piece of white bread. Mom might get arrested for child abuse.

However, for years we got the same mantra, “You can have a piece of fruit, a piece of bread with butter, some saltines, or a glass of milk.” Throw a little peanut butter on some saltines, pair it with a glass of milk, and you have a great snack. I liked fruit, but when you’re a kid and you want some cookies or a brownie, a banana pales in comparison. Let’s face it, 99 out of 100 kids would choose cookies, brownies or cake and ice cream over apples, oranges and bananas any day. I don’t need to get a grant from the National Foundation for Eats to do a scientific study to figure that one out. None of my brothers or sisters - or me - ever said, “Yes, fruit! I love it! I’d take this over brownies any day!” That absolutely never happened. I can tell you, however, that we went through a lot of milk, bread, butter, peanut butter, saltines and fruit back then due to Mom's mantra on snacks. 

Fast forward to when I had kids. When they asked for something to eat in between meals what did I tell them? They could have whatever they want? No, I told them, “You can have a piece of fruit, a piece of bread with butter, some yogurt, or a glass of milk.” Okay, so it’s not exactly the same, but it’s close enough. As for myself, I still eat a lot of fruit today and I love to have a piece of bread with butter when we make our own bread and it’s still warm, fresh out of the bread maker.

They say that old habits never die, and I think that was meant in a negative way for bad habits. However, sometimes good habits don't die either, like having "a piece of fruit, a piece of bread with butter, some saltines, or a glass of milk" for a snack. And as you can see, Famous Family Sayings never die either.

My Birthday

My birthday was last week and it was quite a drop off from last year. Before I go any further, let me say that this is not a criticism of anyone, especially my wife and kids. Last year was my 50^th so we had a party at my house with family and friends, and it was awesome. For those without math skills, this year was my 51^st. Go to any card store and I can guarantee that there aren’t any “Happy 51^st Birthday” cards. So, it was kind of a non-event compared to last year.

It’s kind of strange how we do that with birthdays. There are Sweet 16 parties, usually for girls, but nothing for 17. Have the girls gone from sweet to bitter in just one year? That would be terrible if someone did. Then when someone turns 18, the birthday is a big deal again, probably because kids graduate high school and we see that age as when someone becomes an adult. Then comes 19 and nothing, you’re just a year older. Maybe it’s just the even years that count for something, so you’d think 20 would be a big deal, but it’s not. Ah, but 21 is a big year because then you can legally buy and drink alcohol. Then nothing for the next few years until you get to 25, which is usually a big one. I don’t know if it’s because you’re a quarter of a century old or because many young people start thinking they’re getting old. Some day they’ll look back at that and realize how silly their thinking was.  

After that we celebrate 30, then 40, then 50. Nothing in between those years matters, they’re just numbers. Go to any party store and try to find a “Happy 34^th Birthday!” banner. There aren’t any, but there’ll be one for 30 and 40. Maybe it’s our young-is-good-old-is-bad culture that says anyone over 30 is old that makes us stop celebrating the years in between the nice round numbers. Not to mention there’s always one wise guy who gives you the “over the hill” birthday card when you’re 35, as if you’ve seen your best days. To have seen your best days at 35, now that would be terrible.

When I was growing up, we didn’t do a lot for birthdays. We got a card, a cake and everyone sang “Happy Birthday”. I’m not complaining. We had at least six kids at home as far back as I can remember and couldn’t afford to invite our friends over and have big parties like some of my friends did. Besides, I’ve never been one to refuse a homemade chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and a little bit of ice cream on the side. Yum!

One of my friends took about ten of us mini golfing one year for his birthday, to go along with his cake and ice cream. I found out that day that cake and ice cream do not go well with golf clubs on a warm June day. The next year, he took me and a couple other friends to a Red Sox game! No cake and no ice cream, but plenty of hot dogs, soda and popcorn - and no, we did not have peanuts and Cracker Jack. As a side note, I still have the program from that game in my memorabilia pile.

I think that we should make a big deal out of every birthday we have, especially as we get “older”. Statistically speaking, you have a bigger chance of not making your next birthday as you get older, so why not celebrate every one of them? Not to sound morbid, but you just never know which one could be your last. My son, who turned 16 a month ago, told me that one of his classmates, whom he’s known since elementary school, has cancer. My wife’s uncle died not long after his 40th birthday. My grandmother lived to 98! You just never know.

Overall, I did have a great birthday this year, even though there wasn’t a big party. I relaxed, I watched the home team win their hockey game, I got a bunch of birthday wishes on Facebook and I got some phone calls and emails from family. But the best part of my day, heck the whole weekend, was spending time with my wife and kids. We went out to dinner and talked and had fun. After dinner we went back to the house and watched Get Smart and laughed some more. That is what I’ll remember about my 51^st birthday; the time I got to spend with the people I love the most – my family.

And starting now, I’m going to make sure that I make a big deal out of everyone’s birthday, including my own, no matter what number it is.