It Is What It Is

“It is what it is.”

I have heard people say that so many times that I think I will strangle the next person who says it, mostly because of the reason it is said. You can say “It is what it is” (abbreviated from now on as “IIWII”) and mean that this is how things are right now, many times through no fault of your own, but we’re going to look at things and see if we can make some changes and make them better. However, that’s not usually how it is meant. Instead, when most people say “IIWII” they are saying this is how it is now, we’re not going to try to figure it out or make things better, and it’s never going to change, so why bother. That’s what I hear the most.

This phrase gets tossed around a lot at work when we’re under the gun to get something done. We have a day or two to get a project completed, but the work is going to take twice that amount of time. When this fact gets brought to the attention of the powers-that-be, their response is usually “IIWII”. It doesn’t matter that this happens not just once in a while, but almost every project, because “IIWII”. That we could take a look at how we do projects, change how we estimate the length of time of tasks, or change the number of people assigned to a project don’t seem to be options.

Just think about the “IIWII” attitude for a moment. What if people in the past had had that attitude?

We’d still be reading by candlelight in our darkened homes because Thomas Edison would have never figured out how to make a light bulb work. I can just hear someone that was working with him saying, “Tom, don’t be ridiculous. You’ve tried so many times and nothing works. It is what it is.” There’d be no streetlights, no overhead lights, no lamps to read by, no lights of any kind.

We’d still be riding horses and bikes, or walking, to get around because Henry Ford would have never figured out how to mass produce an affordable vehicle. I don’t know, maybe that would be better in some ways. However, I watched enough westerns on Saturday afternoon and enough episodes of 

“Little House on the Prairie” to know that automobiles are a faster and more comfortable way to get around. After a few failures trying to build a vehicle, maybe his friends and partners told him “IIWII”.    

Advances in medicine, computers, cars, trains, planes, etc., never would have happened if the “IIWII” attitude prevailed. People would still think that Earth was the center of the universe and that it was flat. Not a pretty picture, is it? That’s why I can’t stand it when I’m given the “IIWII” attitude when it wouldn’t take much to change things to what it could be.

I’m glad my parents didn’t have that attitude when I was younger. First, they taught us to do the best we could do in everything, to aim high. That attitude taught us to seek excellence in what we did, not just go along with the status quo. Second, they taught us to question things, which helped us to identify where it was possible to make improvements. Third, they taught us that when we wanted something we needed to persevere. Let’s be real, most things that have any value only come with hard work. Probably most importantly, they taught us how to communicate with others in ways that don’t make them want to give us a smack upside the head. Sometimes how you present something is more important than what you’re saying, frustrating as that may be. They could have easily taken the easy way out and told us to just go along with whatever we were told, to never question anything, to strive for mediocrity so that if we didn’t reach our high goals we wouldn’t be disappointed, to give it a try or two and then forget about it, all in the name of “IIWII”. I’m so grateful they didn’t do that because I would not be the person I am today.

I think that instead of quietly getting ticked off, I’m going to have a new response for “IIWII”. I’m not going to just accept that response anymore without at least a quick discussion. In certain areas, I’m tired of the way things are and I won’t just go quietly. It may be that it is what it is, but it’s not what it could be. It could be better if we took a look and maybe made some changes. I think it’s worth the time and effort.

Perseverance

I saw quite an amazing sight last week. I was in my upstairs bathroom, which looks out the back of the house onto the backyard and the conservation land behind us, and I heard a major commotion among the birds that inhabit the hundreds of trees out there. Now the birds are always chirping away and can be a bit noisy, but this was way beyond that. Being the inquisitive guy that I am, I looked out the window to see if I could pinpoint the source of the uproar. Suddenly, a hawk exploded out of an opening between the trees being chased by 5 or 6 other birds and was flying straight at the window I was looking out of. For a few seconds I thought it was going to crash right into the house! Then at the last second, the hawk pulled up and to the left and went over the house. I wish I had a video camera to catch the scene, but I probably would have had to answer a lot of questions on why I had a video camera in the bathroom in the first place.

The funny thing was that later that day I saw similar scenes twice. One time the hawk was flying for his life again and the other time it was sitting in the top of a tree in my neighbor’s yard being dive-bombed by a group of birds, each one taking its turn trying to move the much bigger hawk. I watched for about 10 minutes, the hawk almost falling twice, but spreading its wings to regain balance before it finally flew away on its own terms. Whatever the hawk was after, I hope it was worth the trouble it was going through because it was obvious that it was worth the fight to all the other birds involved. While I admired the determination of the smaller birds in keeping the hawk away, I also admired the perseverance of the hawk in going after its prize.

Perseverance is a bit strange when you think about it. There are dueling clichés regarding perseverance: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” versus “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. So you’re either trying hard or you’re insane. I guess it depends on your outlook – or possibly the outcome. We all love the stories of people who persevere, sometimes for years, until they finally achieve their goal, many of them when others have given up on them. We don’t really remember people who persevere for years and come up short every time, never achieving their goal. Most people love happy endings.

I remember how much my kids persevered when they were little. Everything they learned to do was learned through much perseverance. Everything from getting themselves dressed, to walking, to playing games to riding a bike all took time to master, to get right. Walking is especially a great example of persevering. How many times does a child fall down when they’re beginning to walk? Yet they continue to try, try again. Is that insane? Of course it isn’t. Imagine if they were like most adults are; fall down 3 or 4 times and that’s it, they’re done. I can almost hear them (well, if they could talk at that point in their lives), “I tried to walk, but I can’t do it. I tried. It’s too hard.” No one would ever walk.

Like many other people, I’m facing issues in my life right now. Some days I’m tempted to just give in and give up, to not persevere and get the issues fixed. In the short term that would be a lot easier. Most days, I’m ready to try and work on those issues and get them resolved. Unfortunately, there are little things pecking away at me, chasing me from my goal and making me feel like I can’t do it. I sometimes feel like the hawk, perched on a high branch in a tree, being dive-bombed by one thing after another and teetering on the brink of falling. Then my wife or one of my kids will do or say something nice or encouraging and I regain my balance and get myself upright again. Unlike the hawk, I know the prize is worth the trouble I’m going through now, all the perseverance and trying. It’s called family.