Something Is Missing

I was out on my back deck the other day, just kind of surveying the yard, taking it all in as I listened to the birds signing and felt the sun shining on my face. The grass isn’t as thick as I want it, nor is it as green as I want it. The shed looks a little more run down than last year. It’s also probably time I replaced the aging fence back there, too. You probably think all this would get me down, but it really doesn’t, it’s just the state of things right now. What did get me down a little was the gaping spot where the pool used to be.

We used to have an above ground pool in the back until last year when we gave it away. If you have a pool, or have ever had a pool, you know they are a lot of work and cost you more than a few bucks to keep them up and running. We used to think it was a good trade off, because the pool got used all summer long. My kids would have friends over and they would spend the day in and out of the pool, and it kind of became the hangout spot for them. We also used to have friends over who had kids the same age as ours and they’d spend most of the time in the pool. Me, my wife and our kids would go in the pool together when I wasn’t at work. We let people use our pool even if we weren’t home. And then the kids grew up and the pool just didn’t get used much anymore.

That’s the part that got me down, thinking about those times when there was activity in the backyard, water splashing, laughter, and screaming – the kind of noise that was nice to hear. Now there’s a sandy shape of a pool, some crushed stone that was around the edges, and some weeds growing. While I like the sounds of the birds, there is nothing like the sound of kids having fun. It is a sound that still brings joy to my heart.

When I was growing up, we had a pool for a number of years. We went in the pool almost every day those summers, staying in for long stretches of time until our toes and fingers were shriveled like prunes and our eyes were cloudy with chlorine. We’d come out for lunch or a snack and then go back in when Mom said it was okay. We had incredible contests of endurance to see who could hold their breath under water the longest, do the most underwater somersaults, or who could go back and forth underwater the most times without coming up for air. Sometimes, we made whirlpools by going around the edge of the pool and then just floated along with the current until it died. Those were good times.

As we got older, the pool got used less and less until finally, it was taken down. I myself was not sad when that happened, but maybe my parents were. Maybe they felt the same thing I did the other day when they looked out the back window of our house and heard nothing but the birds singing. The sense that something was missing, that time had somehow moved on a little too quickly, and that I should have enjoyed those noisy, pool-filled days a little more than I did, because it’s awfully quiet out there now.

Perseverance

I saw quite an amazing sight last week. I was in my upstairs bathroom, which looks out the back of the house onto the backyard and the conservation land behind us, and I heard a major commotion among the birds that inhabit the hundreds of trees out there. Now the birds are always chirping away and can be a bit noisy, but this was way beyond that. Being the inquisitive guy that I am, I looked out the window to see if I could pinpoint the source of the uproar. Suddenly, a hawk exploded out of an opening between the trees being chased by 5 or 6 other birds and was flying straight at the window I was looking out of. For a few seconds I thought it was going to crash right into the house! Then at the last second, the hawk pulled up and to the left and went over the house. I wish I had a video camera to catch the scene, but I probably would have had to answer a lot of questions on why I had a video camera in the bathroom in the first place.

The funny thing was that later that day I saw similar scenes twice. One time the hawk was flying for his life again and the other time it was sitting in the top of a tree in my neighbor’s yard being dive-bombed by a group of birds, each one taking its turn trying to move the much bigger hawk. I watched for about 10 minutes, the hawk almost falling twice, but spreading its wings to regain balance before it finally flew away on its own terms. Whatever the hawk was after, I hope it was worth the trouble it was going through because it was obvious that it was worth the fight to all the other birds involved. While I admired the determination of the smaller birds in keeping the hawk away, I also admired the perseverance of the hawk in going after its prize.

Perseverance is a bit strange when you think about it. There are dueling clichés regarding perseverance: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” versus “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. So you’re either trying hard or you’re insane. I guess it depends on your outlook – or possibly the outcome. We all love the stories of people who persevere, sometimes for years, until they finally achieve their goal, many of them when others have given up on them. We don’t really remember people who persevere for years and come up short every time, never achieving their goal. Most people love happy endings.

I remember how much my kids persevered when they were little. Everything they learned to do was learned through much perseverance. Everything from getting themselves dressed, to walking, to playing games to riding a bike all took time to master, to get right. Walking is especially a great example of persevering. How many times does a child fall down when they’re beginning to walk? Yet they continue to try, try again. Is that insane? Of course it isn’t. Imagine if they were like most adults are; fall down 3 or 4 times and that’s it, they’re done. I can almost hear them (well, if they could talk at that point in their lives), “I tried to walk, but I can’t do it. I tried. It’s too hard.” No one would ever walk.

Like many other people, I’m facing issues in my life right now. Some days I’m tempted to just give in and give up, to not persevere and get the issues fixed. In the short term that would be a lot easier. Most days, I’m ready to try and work on those issues and get them resolved. Unfortunately, there are little things pecking away at me, chasing me from my goal and making me feel like I can’t do it. I sometimes feel like the hawk, perched on a high branch in a tree, being dive-bombed by one thing after another and teetering on the brink of falling. Then my wife or one of my kids will do or say something nice or encouraging and I regain my balance and get myself upright again. Unlike the hawk, I know the prize is worth the trouble I’m going through now, all the perseverance and trying. It’s called family.

Get Out of the Way!

Something is wrong in the animal world. It may not be happening everywhere, but at least in my neighborhood it is. It seems that animals are not afraid of us humans like they used to be. Birds, for example, are no longer afraid of people. It used to be if you walked out of your house, they would fly away. Now you walk out of your house and maybe they’ll stop what they’re doing and look at you. If you walk toward them you get some attention, but they’re still not moving. Only when you get right near them do they fly away.

Driving is even worse with birds. It used to be that once a bird could see you coming down the road, they would fly away. Now you’re coming at them at 45 miles per hour and they don’t even blink an eye. You get about 25 feet away and maybe they hop off to the side a little, but not fly. You get about 10 feet away and it’s like they’re playing chicken – is the human going to stop before I need to fly? I have been driving at times like this when I’ve actually said “Fly!” out loud, sometimes more than once. When they finally fly up out of the road their little legs are still dangling when they pass over the windshield to safety. That’s how close they are to getting hit; their landing gear isn’t even up yet. What’s with the hopping in the road? If I could fly, I wouldn’t be hopping. Just get out of the way.

The same thing has happened with other animals, too, not just birds. Cats, squirrels, possum and critters you only see at night, none of them get out of the way until the very last minute.  I’m not about to crash my car to avoid one of these guys, and I have hit a squirrel before, but why the defiance and refusal to get out of the road?

When we were kids, we played sports in the street. We played whiffle ball, street hockey, kick ball, catch, pretty much anything in the street in front of my house. We didn’t get a significant amount of traffic on our street, mostly just the people who lived on the street and the occasional visitors. My parents had always told us to not only get out of the road when a car was coming, but to actually get onto the sidewalk. On our street, both sides had sidewalks. When we were younger, up to about 10 years old, we did what they had told us and got onto the sidewalk when a car came. However, as we got older we started just moving to the side of the street and not onto the sidewalk. This made some people slow down more than they normally would have, which sometimes got us upset because they were holding up our game.

As we got to our teen years, we got bolder (or more stupid if you prefer). When we were playing and someone yelled “Car coming”, if we were in the middle of a play, we just kept on playing. Sometimes we didn’t move until the people were pretty close to us or until they beeped their horn. Some people smiled and waved once we finally got out of the road and let them pass, others scowled at us like we were criminals in a police lineup. To get back at those people when we were playing street hockey, we’d pass the ball under the car to the other side as they went by. We thought this was hilarious and that we were pretty cool when the ball made it to the other side without getting run over. That is, until someone gave the ball too much lift and it hit the side of the car. Needless to say, the driver was not at all happy with us and told us they were going to speak to our parents about the incident. Whether they did or not I really don’t know. However, we were more careful after that…for about a week, and then we went back to our normal routine.   

A thought recently came to me out of nowhere after one of these defiant bird encounters. Maybe those birds that won’t fly, those squirrels that won’t run and the other animals that won’t get out of the road, are teenagers. They’ve gotten bolder, so when one of their buddies yells “Car coming!” in their language, they just keep on doing what they’re doing. Maybe they’re all sitting there laughing at us, thinking how cool they are that they just missed being hit. Or maybe they’re thinking how hilarious it is that they made someone stomp on the brakes and perhaps swerve out of their way. Perhaps, as in the human world, no one in the animal world wants some old guy in a car holding up the game. Even if that game is a game of chicken.