No Piggybacking

I work for a financial services firm, and as you might expect, they are very security conscious. We’re blocked from all social media on the company network; we can’t get to Yahoo Mail, or Gmail, or any other mail outside of the company’s corporate email; and there are about 27 layers of security when you use your laptop outside the office. Okay, I exaggerated a bit with the layers of security, but they take security seriously.

There is one security issue that I think takes things a little too far. Basically, you are to NEVER hold the door open for someone coming in to the building behind you, or to any other space that requires your security badge. They call this “Piggybacking” and we are to be ever vigilant about Piggybacking. I understand that if someone is coming behind you in full camouflage you may want to think twice before letting them in, especially if they’re carrying an assault rifle. Of if someone is not meeting the dress code, which is office casual, you may be wondering if they work with you. However, I take exception to letting the door slam in someone’s face.

In my family, we were taught to hold the door for people and not let it slam in their face, even open it and let them pass through, especially if they are carrying stuff. Back in the day, that was called being kind, considerate, dare I say, a gentleman! To be clear, if someone is 50 feet behind me, I’m probably not going to hold the door and wait for them unless there are extenuating circumstances. Like, they’re carrying 20 pizzas, or they’re on crutches, or in a wheelchair. Then, yeah, I’m going to hold that door for them. If it turns out the guy in the wheelchair is looking to get some secret information, he’s not going to get far – security is sitting just inside the door at all of our buildings. There have been multiple occasions where multiple people Piggybacked coming into work in the morning and guess who was asked to show their badge? Yup, it was me. I must just look like a security risk.

I have to admit that my parents were against Piggybacking, too, though of a different kind. I’m talking about the usual, kid version, especially when it was in the house. If we jumped on somebody’s back, invited or not, we were told pretty quickly to stop. This was a good thing because either something would get knocked over and occasionally broken, or someone would get knocked over and occasionally hurt. We weren’t supposed to be doing stuff like that in the house anyway, so it only made matters worse if there was any breakage or tears. We were supposed to know better.

I haven’t given anybody a physical Piggyback in years, not since my kids were small, but I still do it at work. Corporate anti-Piggybacking Policy or not, I hold the door for everybody! I don’t know why, but I get some strange looks from some people, like it’s annoying them. However, I also get some big smiles and nice Thank You’s from people, especially those with their hands full. Holding the door open for others is ingrained in my character, courtesy of my parents, who taught me that treating others kindly was more important than following a silly rule. If they were still here, I’m sure they would be okay with my indoor Piggybacking and would have big smiles, too.

Something Is Missing

I was out on my back deck the other day, just kind of surveying the yard, taking it all in as I listened to the birds signing and felt the sun shining on my face. The grass isn’t as thick as I want it, nor is it as green as I want it. The shed looks a little more run down than last year. It’s also probably time I replaced the aging fence back there, too. You probably think all this would get me down, but it really doesn’t, it’s just the state of things right now. What did get me down a little was the gaping spot where the pool used to be.

We used to have an above ground pool in the back until last year when we gave it away. If you have a pool, or have ever had a pool, you know they are a lot of work and cost you more than a few bucks to keep them up and running. We used to think it was a good trade off, because the pool got used all summer long. My kids would have friends over and they would spend the day in and out of the pool, and it kind of became the hangout spot for them. We also used to have friends over who had kids the same age as ours and they’d spend most of the time in the pool. Me, my wife and our kids would go in the pool together when I wasn’t at work. We let people use our pool even if we weren’t home. And then the kids grew up and the pool just didn’t get used much anymore.

That’s the part that got me down, thinking about those times when there was activity in the backyard, water splashing, laughter, and screaming – the kind of noise that was nice to hear. Now there’s a sandy shape of a pool, some crushed stone that was around the edges, and some weeds growing. While I like the sounds of the birds, there is nothing like the sound of kids having fun. It is a sound that still brings joy to my heart.

When I was growing up, we had a pool for a number of years. We went in the pool almost every day those summers, staying in for long stretches of time until our toes and fingers were shriveled like prunes and our eyes were cloudy with chlorine. We’d come out for lunch or a snack and then go back in when Mom said it was okay. We had incredible contests of endurance to see who could hold their breath under water the longest, do the most underwater somersaults, or who could go back and forth underwater the most times without coming up for air. Sometimes, we made whirlpools by going around the edge of the pool and then just floated along with the current until it died. Those were good times.

As we got older, the pool got used less and less until finally, it was taken down. I myself was not sad when that happened, but maybe my parents were. Maybe they felt the same thing I did the other day when they looked out the back window of our house and heard nothing but the birds singing. The sense that something was missing, that time had somehow moved on a little too quickly, and that I should have enjoyed those noisy, pool-filled days a little more than I did, because it’s awfully quiet out there now.

Christmas With the Family - Revisited

It’s hard to believe, but it’s been four years since I started this blog. Instead of writing new posts, I thought that I would go back and repost some of my favorites. This post is from December 26, 2010 and is about Christmas in my family. Whether you’ve read it before or not, I hope you enjoy it.

I’m sitting in my living room, the football game on the television and the snow piling up outside. The forecast is calling for 15 – 20 inches of snow today and tomorrow! Yesterday was Christmas and I got to spend the afternoon with most of my family (those who weren’t there were absolutely missed). We talked, we ate and we laughed. As usual, we laughed a lot, especially talking about things from growing up. And of course, we talked about Christmas. 

My childhood Christmases, at least as far as I remember, were pretty great. Christmas for us was not all about Santa and presents, partly because of our financial situation. With such a large family we didn’t get a lot for Christmas, yet Christmas was still awesome. Don’t get me wrong, we still did the Santa thing. We made our list for Santa, went and saw him at the mall, and did our best to behave because “He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sakes!” We got presents, just most years not too many. One of my all-time favorites was Rockem Sockem Robots. I loved that game and I especially liked playing my brothers and knocking their block off! I’m sure they’d say they let me beat them, but we know better, don’t we?

But the biggest thing about Christmas was that my parents made it more about the birth of Jesus. They taught us about the reason for the season and we talked about it. We also had a Nativity scene, or manger, and that became the focus on Christmas Eve. One of the discussion topics yesterday was our Christmas Eve tradition. After dinner, we’d turn out the lights, light some candles, take some of the figures out of the manger and we’d parade around the house singing Christmas songs like “Silent Night” and “Away in a Manger”. The older ones got to carry the candles, while us younger ones got to carry one of the manger figures. Oh, and if we weren’t really singing, Dad let us know to pick it up a bit.

Some people might look at this and think we were nuts, but it’s one of those things that I still remember decades later. And I remember it in a positive way, with happy feelings and thoughts. I don’t know if other families did this, too, but when I think of Christmas as a kid, I definitely think of this. The weird thing about it is I don’t remember when we stopped doing it, other than when we moved from my childhood home when I was in high school.

Whatever your holiday traditions, I hope you enjoyed time with friends, family and loved ones, and had time to reminisce and laugh. Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to read my posts this year. Happy New Year!